Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts

Life update Nov 2024

An update on life….


2024 has been a humdinger of a year for sure.  I know many people are going through difficulties that they never anticipated.  I’m in that group.  It is late November and I’m waiting to see if I will be approved for disability.  I probably won’t know for a couple more months and the stress continues to mount.  I am so blessed to have the loving support of family and friends.  I wish I could express to them how much it helps me on the bad days.  They are the wind beneath my wings.  Beyond the physical limitations, the mental, emotional, and spiritual struggles are just as difficult.  I’m 51 years old and have never been this physically weak.  Going to the mailbox is a major chore these days requiring about an hour rest and recovery.  

I started having back issues at age 26, started going to Texas Back Institute (TBI) for treatment and over the years had cortisone shots, physical therapy, and pain meds, etc.  In my early thirties, I was formally diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and told the lower back pain would continue, so I learned to live with chronic pain for several years….until things got worse.  My pain increased and I started to roll my right ankle and fall for no reason.  I would be walking along and just fall.  No warning.  I then started to notice that the front of my lower right leg was a little numb.  Weird.  After a few weeks, I went back to TBI to see what was going on.  They did x rays and couldn’t see anything.  They did nerve tests on my leg and documented the numbness and had me go for another round of physical therapy.  I was excited to go thinking that would help, but after 6 intense weeks, the pain continued to escalate.  They tested the nerves in my leg again and the weakness was increasing so an MRI was ordered.  It was 2013 and I was told that basically things are bad, going to get worse, and good luck.  They discovered hemangiomas up and down my spine.  They are benign tumors that are mostly found in women, but normally only 5% of people have issues.  I was in that small percentage group.  The largest hemangioma was at T12, and it was causing the weakness/numbness in my lower right leg.  There was no way to treat it.  I left that appointment determined to push forward.  Over the next 17 years, my right leg continued to get weaker, I had more falls and near falls, and my right foot started going numb.  

At age 50, in the spring of 2024, my right foot went about 90% numb, I had intense lower back pain, and it felt like there was a knife constantly stabbing me in the back at T12, which is the middle of the back.  I could no longer just push through the pain.  I ended up in bed for the month of June and then had 2 discectomies (L3 and L4) on July 9th. Just prior to surgery, my left foot started to go numb (about 30%) so I was starting to panic.  I didn’t want to lose my ability to walk.  After surgery, my mobility decreased further.  My right foot was still 90% numb, couldn’t wiggle my toes, and now had “drop foot” and then my left foot numbness increased to about 50%.  A month after surgery I developed a blood blister on the big toe of my right foot since my gait had changed so much.  The healing process was slow, but the wound care center was a wonderful place and they helped me to heal.  I now have another tiny blood blister that has started on the same toe.  I’m wearing inserts in my tennis shoes around the house, so I’m hoping that it won’t get as bad as the first one.  I use a cane and a walker and I’m so grateful to have those.  Another thing that started in June of 2024 was partial numbness of my dominant hand.  My pinky and ring finger and the palm right below them were now 50% numb.   My PCP said it was probably carpal tunnel and told me to start wearing a brace, but it didn’t help….could it be one of those tumors in my neck?  I’m hoping to get another full spine MRI soon to see what’s going on.  So many issues.

With the partial numbness in my hand, my line quality has gotten worse in my drawings.  The ability to stabilize paint brushes is more difficult, but I’m still pressing on.  Typing is much slower than it used to be.
Seeing the changes is a bit scary, but I just have to trust that Jesus has a plan.  More about artsy fartsy stuffs coming soon….




* I try my best to have the photos match the original artworks as exactly as possible, but colors may vary from monitor to monitor. * All images on this website are © by Michelle McSpadden, and may not be copied or used in any way without permission.

I'm working....slowly

HAPPY Spring to us!!

Today is a beautiful windy day in north Texas.  Such a wonderful time of the year when all the plants and trees are budding, birds are chirping, and the squirrels are chasing each other.   

I was supposed to be releasing my new website in early April, but now I'm having cold feet about it.  These days seem so complicated with the economy and foreign affair/world issues.  Should I just keep things as they are on this blog?   I can always forward my domain name here and conduct any business via Paypal invoicing.  Decisions, decisions, decisions.  May Jesus light my path in this area.

In other news... I am getting ready to move, but not really sure where.  Perhaps Richardson.  I'm currently in Wylie and have been here since 2021 while caring for my sister, but now she is with our brother. 

Change is definitely on the way and I've been preparing for it by simplifying my life and throwing out tons of junk.  How did I ever accumulate so much stuff?  

Here are a couple of pics of the studio during packing....










* I try my best to have the photos match the original artworks as exactly as possible, but colors may vary from monitor to monitor. * All images on this website are © by Michelle McSpadden, and may not be copied or used in any way without permission.

Artsy fartsy plans 😊

HAPPY Wednesday!!




Now that the date (12/10) for the new website going live is fast approaching, I am finalizing my plans for the future of this website and wanted to see about getting your feedback too.  You can comment below or email me at mdm123@ymail.com to share your thoughts/opinions.

Art Blog ideas that I'm pondering:

1) 1 post a month detailing the "why" behind the art.  (Image Synopsis)
2) 1 post per month for autobiographical stories.   Life experiences tend to show up in my compositions occasionally, so maybe some background info would help viewers go deeper within certain works for contemplation.   ??? 
3) 1 post per month to spotlight an artist that I follow on Instagram.  
4) Do a combo of 1 & 2 per month
5) Do a combo of 2 and 3 per month
6) Do a combo of 2 and alternate between 1 and 3 per month.  That would be 6 image synopsis posts a year and 6 artist spotlight posts a year.

Personally, I like #6 the most and think it offers me a little more flexibility.  What sounds good to you?

I'm ALSO working on setting up a schedule for Instagram as well.  I should be posting at least 5 times a week, so hopefully I can do better with that.  I want to post 2 - 3 drawings a week along with 2 painting in progress posts.  

Plan your work, then work your plan.  💗





* I try my best to have the photos match the original artworks as exactly as possible, but colors may vary from monitor to monitor. * All images on this website are © by Michelle McSpadden, and may not be copied or used in any way without permission.

Brutus Kleetus McSpadden

Brutus Kleetus McSpadden


I thought it was high time to do a special post about my wonderful Studio Assistant Brutus Kleetus McSpadden.  He was born on 3/03/16 in Lewisville, so you know he is a proud Texan just like me.   : )

Brutus is like most cats.  He wants to do whatever he wants, whenever he feels like it.  He likes getting Temptations treats a few times a week, but if I try to give them to him everyday, he won't eat them.   ???    Brutus' favorite food is Instinct Chicken dry kibble with freeze dried chicken bits.....he thinks those are special treats just for him and eats them before the rest of the food.  You can find out more about the food he eats by clicking HERE.



Bru, one of his many nicknames, loves to fetch balls and has since he was a kitten.  I have a little video of him:


Bru loves to sit next to me wherever I may happen to be, so I move his blue chair around so that he can sit next to me at my work table or the computer desk.  Here is a pic of him on top of his perch with the blue chair in front.



He likes to look outside to see the neighbors coming and going.  I don't know if you can see it, but that blue chair is all messed up from his scratching over the years.  He has two scratching posts that he uses, but he still claws up that blue chair.  Cats!!!

Here are a couple of other pics of him:











** All images on this website are © by Michelle McSpadden, and may not be copied, transferred, duplicated or used in any way without expressed written permission **

Getting Personal


I wanted to document a major life change on my website, praying that it might help others.

Here is the text and pics from my 7/19/19 Facebook post:

I just shaved my head. OMG....this is freedom!!
I have wanted to shave off my hair, or what remains of my hair, for the last year and tonight I finally did it. 
If you want the back story.... My hair started thinning during my late 20s. I then adopted a hairstyle that I absolutely hated for over 15 years because I could sorta hide the hairloss...unless I was under a lot of lights. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 35 and the hair continued to fall out. Like so many other women with this issue, I have tried pills, lotions, potions, etc., and nothing worked for me. I got to the point where something had to change, so I went to a great wig salon (wild4wigs) about 4 years ago and proceeded to go nuts buying different wigs and feeling like I was regaining what I had lost over the years. I wore the clip on wigs, but eventually got tired of them. I will be 46 in couple of months and the shedding continues...my hair was shoulder length, but looking more patchy than ever....it was depressing, so I took the leap. I shaved that hot mess off of my head. I have some full wigs that you may see me wearing when I'm out and about. One is brown rooted blonde wavy beach getup and another one I refer to as my Marilyn wig.
Life is short....if you need to, shave your head!









** All images on this website are © by Michelle McSpadden, and may not be copied, transferred, duplicated or used in any way without expressed written permission **